Summer 2004
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The INNERLIFE
A Publication of the
Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee, Inc.
Partners in Caring Since 1985
Handprints
On Our Souls
by Craig S. Wascovich, D.Min.
While living in Indianapolis, Indiana, my wife, Sandy, and I spent two separate weekends at Oakhaven Bed and Breakfast in Whiteland, Indiana, about an hour east of Indianapolis. It was a nice getaway for us. As the steel and concrete of the city gave way to thousands of acres of open farmland and forests, the stress of hectic lives gave way to the serenity of the countryside. We would settle into the rustic beauty of that old home in the country, visit with the other guests, drink in the hospitality of our hosts and feast on sumptuous meals. Our only complaint was that the weekends ended too soon, but even endings are special at Oakhaven. As a ritual of departure, the host invites all the guests into the basement; as you descend narrow, wooden stairs, you notice a tree painted on one wall, with limbs spreading out to the adjoining walls. On the limbs, you see something that looks like leaves. At the bottom of the stairs, the host invites you to dip a hand into a basin of green, water-soluble paint, and then to make an impression on one of the limbs of the tree, and beneath the impression to sign your name and the date. Hundreds of persons have touched that wall and left their mark.
Months after returning from my second Oakhaven weekend, as I was driving home from work along I-74, it dawned on me. My soul feels like that wall. Through the years, men and women with whom I have traveled for a time, have reached out their hands, touched my soul, and left their mark. This is not unique to me. Your soul, too, if you examine it, is like that wall; for through the years, many have reached out a hand, touched your soul, and left a mark.
Psychology teaches us that we become the persons we are – for better or for worse – because of the handprints on our souls. The most indelible marks we bear belong to our parents or parent figures and are put in place before we reach the age of five. But the story does not end there. We are all “works in progress;” throughout our lives, God sends good, kind, caring persons across our paths who reach out their hands, touch our souls, and leave their mark. Sometimes the touch is profoundly healing. Who are the people God has sent into your life with a healing or transforming touch? A pastor, priest or rabbi? A professor or pastoral counselor? A neighbor or friend? Who are the blessed ones who have reached out their hands, touched your soul, and left their mark?
Helping
by Dr. James R. Coffman, Executive Director
There are limits to helping others when helping is based on
doing something for others. This is not to disparage
“
doing” actions, but it is to suggest there is more. A counselor
friend told me of a situation in which a counselee
insisted that the counselor tell exactly what the counselee
should do about a despairing dilemma. Reluctantly, the
counselor agreed to tell him exactly what he thought the
counselee might do. Not surprisingly, at the next session
the counselee told the therapist that he had totally forgotten
what the counselor had said though he had done his best to
remember as he drove home from the last session. Deeper
experiences of help have a reciprocal, self-affirming, selfmotivating
manner to them.
And so, my first reflection. While there are many ways help
makes a difference, it makes a deeper difference when it
comes through relationship. We can give answers, food,
clothing, housing, and money, but these commodities reach
another location when they come as part of a relationship.
There will be many who will take the commodity without
the relationship, of course. Congregations and nonprofits
will give gasoline, food, and clothes to scores of indigents
this week and people will be helped. But when giver, gift,
and recipient are integrated something qualitatively different
can happen. Community happens.
My second reflection. In a true community we listen to one
another. I can name many examples where I was helped
because someone heard something that I did not hear, know,
or understand. It has been helpful for a friend to say, “Why
are you anxious?” Or “You sound sad.” These are examples
of how help comes through relating. It can be tangible in
other ways. We received a large financial gift last week
from a donor a thousand miles away who wanted to participate
in our mission in Middle Tennessee. He simply said
that he and his wife had read our newsletter and wanted to
help. That’s all—he heard and helped. I was stunned and
grateful for his listening.
A third reflection. While help can take forms in which the
other does not know he is being helped, it is difficult to
build connections with one another without a shared awareness
of help. That is, the help that I offer is perceived to be
the help that you need. I have had persons tell me that they
were helping me, but I did not feel that they were helping
me—the help was incomplete. While the hermeneutics of
help are complex and help can take a much different form
than what was anticipated, I think the meaning of help falls
to the vocabulary of the “helpee.” It is not uncommon to
see well-meaning parents, spouses, and congregants do
something they mean to be helpful, but the “helpee” does
not receive the help, respond to it, or experience the help as
helpful. See reflection two above for repeat meditation.
A final reflection. Our culture has us trading, selling, and
giving services to one another. This is not a bad thing, but
it is not the whole. It can be inhumane. We know there
are services to be performed for those in need. There are
actions to be done to help one another. But who is helped?
Herein is the mystery of helping. We do not serve the poor,
the sick, the broken, the despaired, the anxious, the alienated,
and the unreconciled simply to change them. The
“
helper” is nurtured and “helped” by “helping” the “helpee.”
Our embrace of the poor and working poor nurtures us all.
We all are sustained by holding the sick and broken. We all
are helped through our care for the alienated children
among us. The Christian text reminds us that when we care
for the least of these we care for Christ. I think we care for
ourselves when we care for the least of these. Who is
helped? Our community is made whole when we are connected
to the vulnerabilities in one another, when the roles
of helpee and helper are weaved into the business of relating,
accepting, and loving. After all, who of us does not
need help?
Development Doings
by Chrissa Jennings Walsh, Development Director
Exciting things are happening at the
Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee!
The word is spreading and more people are
aware of where to go when they need someone
to talk to, to listen, and to provide the
tools to make positive changes in their
lives. This is made possible by the generosity
of many through donations, volunteering,
and sharing the mission of PCCT.
The Pastoral Counseling Center of Franklin
held its first fundraising event of the year.
First United Methodist Church in Franklin
hosted a brunch for members of the local
community and congregations. Go to the
following website for more information
about this center and its mission
Other events to follow include: North
Center located at 111 Hazel Path in
Hendersonville, August 21st, at Good
Shepherd United Methodist Church in
Hendersonville. Clarksville Center located
at 516 Madison Street will host its second
annual “First Step Event”, October 7, 2004,
at the Madison Street United Methodist
Church in Clarksville. Murfreesboro
Center, located at 129 E. Main Street, has
chosen October 16 for its second annual
“Community of Faith” Event to be held at
the Middle Tennessee Medical Center.
The annual Founders Banquet and Silent
Auction will be held in Nashville, Saturday,
September 18, 2004, at the William J.
Fleming Center of the Cathedral of the
Incarnation, 2015 West End Avenue,
Nashville Tennessee. Invitations will be
mailed August 1, 2004. If you did not
receive a “Save the Date” flyer and would
like to receive an invitation to this funfilled
evening, please call Chrissa Walsh @
615-383-2115 x 23.
Please provide an email address to:
ChrissaWalsh@PastoralCounselingCtrs.org.
I’ll send you this newsletter electronically
and many other announcements of new and
exciting opportunities from time to time.
Thank you for your constant support.
I welcome your comments and suggestions
at any time!
WE GRATEFULLY ACKNOWLEDGE GIFTS FROM THE FOLLOWING INDIVIDUALS AND ORGANIZATIONS:
Patrons' Fellowship
Founders' Fellowship
Advocates' Fellowship
Sustainers' Fellowship
Bess W. Henderson
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Adkerson
Abner Overdeer Foundation
First Presbyterian Church, Nashville
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Shampain
St. Henry Catholic Church
Mr. Carl E. Adams
Reverend Rachel Dixon and Dr. Bryce Dixon
Reverend Lewis Lamberth
Ms. Elizabeth Lacock
Dr. A.-J. Levine
Mr. Dortch Oldham
Reverend Ann VanDervoort
2004 FOUNDERS BANQUET HONOREES
Mr. and Mrs. Edward H. Cole
The Reverend Dr. K. C. Ptomey, Jr.
The Reverend Dr. W. Robert Abstein
Mrs. Dick Chaney
SEPTEMBER 18, 2004
CALENDAR HIGHLIGHTS
July
August
September
October Clergy Appreciation Month
27 Nashville CPE Partnership meeting, 8:30 a.m.
30 Study Group-"Critical Incident Debriefing" 9:00-Noon
Vine Street Counseling Center
100 Vine Court, Nashville, TN
Facilitator-Dr. Gilbert Roth
19 Board of Directors Meeting-5:00 p.m.
21 North Center Fundraising Event
Good Shepherd United Methodist Church, Hendersonville, TN
3 HIPPA Workshop
11 Annual Retreat
18 Founders Banquet, Silent Auction Fundraising Event, William J. Fleming Center, Cathedral of the Incarnation, 2015 West End Avenue, Nashville, TN
For invitation, contact Chrissa Walsh, 615-383-2115 x 23
28 Nashville CPE Partnership Board meeting, 8:30 a.m.
7 Clarksville Center Fundraising Event
Madison Street United Methodist Church, Clarksville, TN
16 Murfreesboro Center Fundraising Event, Middle Tennessee Medical Center, Murfreesboro, TN
17-24 Pastoral Care and Counseling Week
21 Board of Directors Meeting, 5:00 p.m.
29 Study Group, Domestic Violence & How To Help
NASHVILLE CPE PARTNERSHIP UPDATE
Five Chaplain Residents completed one
more unit for three units of their
Residencies. They are:
Angela Clements (Church of Christ) and
Brian McCreanor (Disciples of Christ) at
Saint Thomas Hospital, Kim Crawford
(Baptist) at Vanderbilt, Marcy Thomas
(United Methodist) at McKendree Village
Retirement Center, and Richard Weller
(Roman Catholic) at Baptist Hospital.
They will complete their Residencies in
August.
In the Extended unit, the following students
completed a unit: Susan S. Dyer
(Episcopal) and James M. Robinson
(United Methodist) at McKendree, Dana
Irwin (Presbyterian, USA) and Deacon
Andy McKenzie (Roman Catholic) at
Baptist, James Clark (United Methodist) at
Vanderbilt and Jarod M. Johnson
(Disciples of Christ) at Saint Thomas.
Eight students have been accepted for the
Summer Intensive CPE Program, supervised
by Dan A. McRight and Chaplain
Supervisor, Yvonne Boudreau (from Saint
Thomas Hospital). They are:
Audrey Connor, Cynthia Ann Curtis, Susan
S. Dyer, Nancy Jenkins, Monna Mayhall, J.
Michael O'Bryan, Cecelia Tolley and Anna
Tews. They will be with us from June 7 to
August 13, 2004.
We anticipate an Accreditation Site
Visit Team from the Southeast Region of
the Association for Clinical Pastoral
Education in late July.
New Officers of the Nashville CPE
Partnership are Chaplain Lewis Lamberth,
President; Chaplain James M. Robinson,
Vice-President; and Chaplain Barry
Culbertson, Secretary.
The Nashville CPE Partnership has just
completed eleven more units of ACPE
Accredited Clinical Pastoral Education.
Pastoral Care Specialist Training Program
Clinical Pastoral Therapist Training Program
We will be offering the Pastoral Care
Specialist Training Program in the coming
year. The program will begin in
October 2004 and continue to March
2004. Designed for congregation clergy,
chaplains, and advanced caregivers, the
Program teaches practical pastoral care
and counseling skills and facilitates the
development of the minister's or rabbi's
identity in the helping role. For application
materials on the Pastoral Care
Specialist Training Program, contact the
Reverend O'Rear at the Pastoral
Counseling Centers of Tennessee
(615/383-2115) or email
Training@PastoralCounselingCenters.org
with inquiries.
Archived
Issues:
Summer 2004
Winter 2003: Nuturing
the Institution
Fall 2002
Summer 2002
Spring 2002
Winter 2002: Ethics In The Workplace
Fall 2001: Room for Laughter
Spring 2001: Suicide - A Loss of Hope
Winter 2001:
Helping
a Child Through Loss
Fall 2000: Adolescence
and Substance Abuse
Summer
2000: Hospitality, A Context for Care and Healing
Spring 2000: The
Cry of Anguish