Spring 2001

The INNERLIFE
A Publication of the
Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee, Inc.

Partners in Caring Since 1985

Suicide - A Loss of Hope
Jeffrey D. Hamilton, D.Min.

Perhaps no other event creates the rush of feelings as hearing that someone ended their own lives. Perhaps no other experience causes us to question why, how and what could I have done to prevent it.

This month is the first anniversary of the suicide of a young man I worked with for some time. A kind, gentle and caring man, he wrestled with feelings that brought him to only one conclusion. I continue to think about and miss him, and all he had to offer.
In my career, I have spent time with many persons who have attempted suicide - and several who have succeeded. There is a nearly universal message I heard from these persons, “Jeff, if I can’t control anything else, I could control my life span.” Life became - death became the only option they could fathom.

Suicide is all too common in our society. It is the third leading cause of death among persons 15-24, and has its highest rate in men above the age of 85. For each completed suicide, there are an estimated 8 to 25 attempts. Deaths by suicide out number deaths by homicide 3:2. No portion of our society is immune from the risk, the heartache or thoughts of suicide.

Let’s spend a few moments dispelling some of the myths about suicide...Suicides most commonly occur around the holidays. In fact, the months of April and May have the highest rates of suicide. Why? During the winter, the whole world is a bit depressed. As the world cheers, and you do not, depression becomes more evident and palatable.

People who talk about suicide don’t really intend on doing it. They are just trying to get attention. In fact, 80% of all persons who attempt suicide do indeed speak of the desire before hand. Many of these persons have undiagnosed or non-apparent depression. They live in a private world of hopelessness and despair.

Across the years, numerous studies have told us that the local congregation and its leaders are the first people persons go to for support and help in times of crisis. For this reason, it is vital that we approach this issue with as much energy as any other social ill.

The message of faith in God is hope - at its very core is the message that we are not alone. The lives of these men and women include a deep and personal feeling and experience of the opposite - hopelessness and isolation. You can respond to the crisis of suicide in many ways. Proactively you can educate people about depression - perhaps by having a depression screening at your church each year. You can provide training for youth regarding the sometimes-invisible depression of our youth. You can be present with people who attempt suicide - blessing them in their humanity - as well as being with their loved ones who may also experience a sense of failure as they cope with the attempt - or success - of suicide. You can talk about letting people know it is not a taboo subject.

Suicide and suicide attempts most often occur as the result of an interpersonal crisis, or significant life change. As clergy, you are aware of the seasons of person’s lives. Your simple presence and encouragement at these times can spell the difference in people finding choices and hope when neither is experienced.

Through it all, trust that we are co-ministers with you. If you would like to learn more about depression screenings, risk reduction, professional resources, or you would like to plan an educational event for your leaders, please contact us. We are with you as you serve God and your people in seasons of joy and seasons of pain.

The Powerful, the Weak and Transitional Space
by James R. Coffman

A local magazine recently came out with their “100 Most Powerful People in Middle Tennessee.” None of my clergy friends were on the list, since position, money, and celebrity defined power. Not without some narcissism, I reviewed the list to see whom I knew-the next best thing to being recognized. The list included very successful people, some of whom are friends to the Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee. I felt pleased for their recognitions and appreciative for their extensive services to our communities.

All of us need recognition. While eavesdropping on personal stories, I have observed that everyone has a high point in life. We have that time when we get the recognition, the award, the prize for which we yearn. These are powerful experiences of being first in the class, winning the big game and talking to the popular boy. These experiences are the answers to the question the actors in the movie City Slickers probe, “What was the best day in your life?” Like the city slickers, we tend to measure the rest of life by that standard, until we find ourselves in an alien context where the means and outcomes of our measurement are unsatisfying, i.e., the cattle drive in the movie.

It is in this transitional space, a space facilitated by the city slickers’ probe of an affiliated question--“What was the worse day of your life?”-that all of us reside. When we name the high point and the low point, we are left to steward a huge pool of other experiences. The human spirit adapts, but one tends to adapt on the basis of assumptions about the character and future of a story. Some of us over compensate in our relational lives by our experience of our best and worst days. Some of us grieve the loss of that special sweetheart for decades. Some of us are shamed by our failure at that special job. Some of us feel diminished by that unspeakable trauma through infinite nighttime reveries. Some of us feel alienated and stuck by a betrayal beyond every effort to move forward.

Transformation is not a commodity. But I think we witness it in that space between our strength and weakness. We live in hope about the direction of our lives relative to the best and worst days. There are some experiences from which we may not recover. My parents were marked by the Depression in a way that stayed with them throughout their lives: we kids had to eat everything on our plates.

All of life is transformable spiritually. Virginia Satir used to say that the only people who cannot change are the ones who are dead or who have their heads cut off. To me, this is a faith statement made meaningful by measuring human experience in the light of God’s presence and revelation. My assumptions are informed by Hebrew understandings implicit in Genesis 1-11 where God engages the very highest and lowest of human experiences and remains faithful, by Christian understandings like that in Romans 8 where God’s love dominates our suffering and weak experiences to bring us in connection with the Divine through Christ, and by communities of believers who meet every week to remember the character, message, and encouragement of God. People will experience the presence of God and people will change.

A transitional space can be a cattle drive, a movie viewing, a religious service, or a counseling session. The space occasions the shift of measurement about what is right, wrong, powerful, weak, loving, and sinful. Nobody controls this space; it simply happens because of our openness to it and because God is God. One can try to control all experiences, as if we can make ourselves invulnerable and avoid our brokenness, but there is surplus of experience with which we can cope, and life will invariably run over the sideboards. We will need God and we will need someone at some time.

You can be recognized. God recognizes you. God loves you. You can find a space to explore and experience the light of God’s measure and care. I encourage you to consider that cattle drive, movie, worship service, or counseling session. Just when you think there are no other measurements but the ones you have always experienced, be careful. You may find that what you thought was powerful is not, and you might discover that what you presumed weak and unimportant is the portal to God and vitality (cf. II Cor. 11:29-12:10).

We give thanks to you and your congregation for your partnership with us in the mission of providing sanctuary for change-and sometimes transformation. We are blessed in our collaboration.

Memorial and Honor Roll:
We gratefully acknowledge gifts from the following individuals and organizations:

The Knapp Foundation, Inc.
Martha and Bronson Ingram Foundation
Mr. Ken Williams
Mr. Albert W. Johnson, III
The Martin Foundation - Mrs. Ellen Martin
Mr. and Mrs. William V. Parsons, Jr.
Jean and David Thibodeau
Mrs. Martha Ingram
Nancy and Victor S. Johnson Foundation

Development Officer Search

Stephanie Lanza Harvey will be leaving our staff to make a move to another city. We have begun a search for a new Development Officer. If you are interested or know of someone who may be interested in this important role in our agency, contact Stephanie or Jim Coffman at 615/383-2115. A partial job description appears on our Web Site under Job Opportunities. We give thanks for Stephanie’s service to the Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee and extend blessings to her, Edward and “the August expected one.” Stephanie was our 2000 Employee of the Year.

Training Programs

The Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee is an Approved Training Program of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors. Plans are underway for our PASTORAL CARE SPECIALIST PROGRAM. The program provides clinical training for clergy and lay care givers in pastoral care and short term counseling. The program begins in September and requires ½ day of training time per week for 15 weeks. If you would like information on the program, please contact Carrie Seabolt at 370-9547

The faculty is evaluating offering the Clinical Pastoral Therapist Program in the fall. If you would like information on this 2-year program for a vocation in pastoral counseling, contact Dr. James Coffman at 383-2115.

We will not be offering the Advance Practitioner Program for outside candidates in 2001, but will open the program for candidates in the fall of 2002. Certified and licensed practitioners who are interested in individual or group contracts for supervision may contact Dr. Coffman or one of the Faculty members.

In Kind Donations

The Pastoral Counseling Centers are grateful for the many in-kind donations we receive from companies and individuals. We especially thank Rich Maradik and the staff at SmartDM, formally DataMark, for their generosity. SmartDM prepares our quarterly newsletter mailings and two solicitation mailings a year. Their time and expertise in printing letters, labeling envelopes, sorting zip codes and mailing close to 22,000 pieces of mail a year for us is invaluable to our mission and ministry. Thank you Rich, Don, Janis and the many staff who prepare our mailings!

We also thank Bill Tallent of Sir Speedy in Brentwood and Tallent Communications for their help with our marketing strategies. Tallent Communication donated many hours of professional time to the development of our new web site and hosts the site for PCCT without charge.

We also thank the many in kind donations we received for the 2000 Founders’ Banquet. Thank you to Sharlena Miller for donating beverages for the evening’s dinner. Thank you again to Bill Tallent and Sir Speedy in Brentwood for donating the printing of the invitations. And thank you to Paper Plus who donated the paper for the invitations.

Business Resource Center

The Business Resource Center is dedicated to providing counseling services to employee and family members of participating employer organizations. The Business Resource Center provides a variety of services through an Employee Assistance Program. The most basic service is to the employees of organizations and their family members with individual, marital, and family counseling. We are able to provide additional services for alcohol and drug assessment and to assist an organization to provide a "Drug Free Work Place," which helps organizations receive a discount on workman's compensation. There is also increased attention to providing a " Violence Free Work Place," in order to meet the ongoing needs of organizations and OSHA requirements. Our network of eight centers in Tennessee and the well-trained staff provides organizations and their employees with competent care in a responsive and responsible way. The Director of the Business Resource Center is Lawrence D. Clark. He will meet with your organization, send material, and develop a plan that would best fit your organization. Call Lawrence at [615] 377-9303.

2001 Enrichment Events Booklet

You should soon be receiving our 2001 Enrichment Events booklet in the mail. The booklet has a total of 52 Life Enrichment workshops, including 20 new titles. This year we have also included our Clergy/Staff Enrichment programs. There are 8 new titles focused on the needs of clergy and staff in the local congregation. We would be happy to develop additional workshops about topics you would like to see addressed. Please contact the Development Office at 615/383-2115, ext. 23 for additional copies of our Enrichment Events booklet or visit the “Programs for Congregations” page on our web site www.PastoralCounselingCtrs.org to see our current offerings.

Renovation of the Vine Street Building

We are reviewing ways to renovate the Fitzpatrick House at the Vine Street Christian Church. The Vine Street Christian Church generously provides the site for our Vine Street Counseling Center, where we have conducted 50,543 sessions in 15 ½ years of ministry. The House has not been painted or carpeted since the beginning of the counseling ministry and is in need of attention. We have identified other remodeling needs and are developing a plan for addressing this need. If you would like to play a role in this renovation, please contact our Development Office.

Liston O. Mills Recognized

The American Association of Pastoral Counselors presents the Distinguished Contribution Award to LISTON O. MILLS, Ph.D. Teacher, Pastoral Counselor, Author, Editor, Colleague and Friend
This award will recognize his outstanding career in the teaching of pastoral theology and counseling, his personal and pastoral integrity in a professorial role, his collegial and supportive relationships, and his editorial leadership and service with Pastoral Psychology and The Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling. This award is presented at the 38th Annual Conference this 19th day of April, 2001 in Atlanta, Georgia.

Welcome to New Staff

We welcome Dr. Anita Hauenstein to our staff. Anita is an ordained Presbyterian minister who has served in rural Alabama. She has an M. Div. degree from Vanderbilt Divinity School and a Ph.D. degree from Auburn University in Counseling and Psychology. She comes to us from Johnson City where she completed an internship in Psychology at Mountain Home Veterans Administration Hospital. Anita will be serving both the Brentwood and Murfreesboro Centers.

Calendar Highlights

April-Child Abuse Prevention Month
Volunteer Appreciation Month

May-Mental Health Month
May 2 Anxiety Disorder Screenings
May 5-Dr. James Coffman speaking on The Healing Ministry of the Church at the Tennessee Cooperative Baptist Fellowship.

October - Depression Screening, October 10
Pastoral Care and Counseling Week, October 21-28
Theme - Valuing Life’s Passages - visit http://www.pastoralcareweek.org for
Additional information on this year’s theme

Archived Issues:
Archived Issues:
Summer 2004
Winter 2003: Nuturing the Institution
Fall 2002
Winter 2002: Ethics In The Workplace
Fall 2001: Room for Laughter
Spring 2001: Suicide - A Loss of Hope
Winter 2001: Helping a Child Through Loss
Fall 2000: Adolescence and Substance Abuse
Summer 2000: Hospitality, A Context for Care and Healing
Spring 2000: The Cry of Anguish