Fall 2001

The INNERLIFE
A Publication of the
Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee, Inc.

Partners in Caring Since 1985

ROOM FOR LAUGHTER
0ne of my favorite images of Jesus is the depiction of him laughing. Perhaps I am drawn to it because it reminds me of his humanity, his capacity for joy and play and for savoring the pleasures of life. He is someone who experienced both the depths of pain and betrayal and the heights of loving and caring for others. The person who gave His life for us also turned water into wine, played with children, and threw back His head and laughed.

The capacity for laughter even in the worst of circumstances has never ceased to inspire and amaze me. Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the concentration camp at Auschwitz, said, "I never would have made it if I could not have laughed. It lifted me momentarily out of this horrible situation, just enough to make it livable." He wrote about the importance of humor in coping with the degrading and grim conditions of the camps, and he even went so far as to suggest that the capacity for humor was an essential factor in the prognosis for survival. He, encouraged those imprisoned with him to invent at least one amusing story a day about something that might happen after their liberation. In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, he wrote, "While we were waiting for the shower, our nakedness was brought home to us; we really had nothing now except our bare bodies-even minus hair, all we possessed literally, was our naked existence... Thus the illusions some of us still held were destroyed one by one, and then, quite unexpectedly, most of us were overcome by a grim sense of humor. We knew that we had nothing to lose except our so ridiculously naked lives. When the showers started to run, we all tried very hard to make fun, both about ourselves and about each other. After all, real water did flow from the sprays!" (p. 24).

Amazing to me is the fact that prisoners of war, like those with debilitating or terminal illnesses, can find humor even in the darkest of circumstances. Even so, there are places in our lives when the laughter grows still.

I once heard a psychiatrist speak about his many years of service in a mental health facility. He asked the audience, "Do you know what you will not hear in a mental health institute? Do you know what essential ingredient of life you will not find there?" His answer -- genuine, heartfelt laughter.

When the main character in Ken Kesey's book, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, is admitted to a psychiatric ward, he says, "You know, that's the first thing that got me about this place, that there wasn't anybody laughing. I haven't heard a real laugh since I came through that door, do you know that? Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing" (p. 65).

When we lose hope, we lose our capacity for humor, playfulness and laughter. When we lose this, we do indeed lose our footing.

As I write this article, it is the day after our country's multiple tragedies of September 11, and the ground beneath is no longer firm, as we once suspected it was. In the aftermath of the devastation, we are moving through a time when we have not only lost our footing, but our hearts are full with pain, brokenness and loss. It seems there is no longer any room for joy, laughter and hope. Where is our hope now?

Poets have written:

We like to put up a brave front,
To make a show of strength,
     We wear ourselves out to be strong,
      To be capable,
      To be helpful,
      To do everything
      For other people,
           And we may end up
           Frightening them half to death
          With our efficiency.

Then sometimes it comes by accident,
The crack in the armor...
The shared moment of fear
     Or pain,
         The moment when we stretch out a hand and say
          I too bleed,
          I too cry-
     And in relating from weakness
     We may reach
     What we never could have touched with our strength.
                                     (DePree, in Faces of God)

Author Patty Wooten has suggested that, "The ability to hope for something better enables human beings to cope with difficult situations such as disasters, deprivation, failure, loneliness, and suffering." Even in the midst of heartache, there is the promise of something more.

Our hope lies in the images of neighbor bending down to comfort or carry neighbor. The promise lies in the assurance that death can never have the final Word. And perhaps it is when we are brought to our knees that the light, love and grace of God can shine through the cracks in our armor to our spirits.

A colleague of mine prayed today that we might grant ourselves permission to laugh even now, to find the humor we need to cope, to heal and to move beyond and through this season of darkness. My prayer and my hope this day is that we will not forget the image of His face laughing, even as we stand at the foot of the cross.

"For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known... "

(I Corinthians 13:13)

COMPETING IDEOLOGIES
by James R. Coffman

How shall we commend ourselves to living in the world? What is at the heart of living? How shall we organize ourselves and act? These are difficult questions. There are no simple answers. Certain ideologies compete for the answers. But these answers also reveal our understandings of what animates the human soul.

Biological ideologies are very popular. One gets a full "dose" of these perspectives through the media. The recreation, wellness, and medical perspectives remind me that to be human means that I am embodied. My favorite movie stars, sports teams, and personal trainers remind me of what I am supposed to know: that the body can be disciplined, improved, and preserved. Pharmaceutical companies advise me that I can manage my moods and our children's behaviors through better chemistry, even by genetically anticipating likely maladies. Health care providers suggest and provide cures beyond the wildest dreams of my youth. I have learned what I should and should not eat to feel well. While I do not understand, I know a lot about my body. My body and I--these "falsies"--of duality, have been through a lot together. From vitamins to Viagra, I know that embodiment can be improved. Still it is not well, and I face my body's limits. Some of my best high school friends have died, and their bodies looked pretty well compared to mine. I age. I review the obituaries in my hometown paper, subtly celebrating my shrinking individuation. Reluctantly, I am giving up on having the abs that I should have by spending 5 minutes a day with the extraordinary rubber banded machine that I purchased for four easy payments of only $99. Still, I am a body. And I am humbled.

Sociological ideologies remind me that I am part of larger communities. Political leaders vie for my affection: Democrats invite me to social equality; Libertarians entice me to my rights as an individual; Republicans seduce me toward limited governmental control; and Socialists influence me toward the power of the collective. In "the hour of need" I can be had by each. And then I assess my place among the rest of you in terms of my normality: Thankfully, I am not broadly perceived as a criminal; financial institutions want to use my resources to help me be "somebody" as I compete with the rest of you; I manage to deal with social class conflict by intellectually dancing from one to another; and I look for leaders with vision who capture my unconscious passions for creating a better society. In relation to the biggest picture, there are estimates that I share pigmentation with 30% of you fellow planetarians.

We males are a 48% minority; we persons from European origins are a low 21%; 89% of us are heterosexual; like 30% of you, I can read; and like only 1% of the whole I have a college education. I am a social being. I am humbled.

Religious ideologies are really very interesting. Once in a conversation with a vocal critic of institutional religion, I asked him what was the alternative to organized religion. He and I found that we were more interested in critique than chaos. There is no responsible alternative to organized religion. Working with 105 congregations from diverse traditions has been my greatest education in ministry. Our agency is accredited by the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (AAPC). The first line of the AAPC Code of Ethics states, "We are committed to the various theologies, traditions, and values of our faith communities and to the dignity and worth of each individual." Numerous factors influence the events in the lives of individuals, and one of these is the faith perspective persons bring to a crisis, a divorce, a sick child, a conflict, a crazy anxiety, a past trauma, and a depressed mood. There are times when the normal authoritative structures of our religious training hold our lives in secure peace, and there are times when our experiences challenge what we have understood about God, relationships, and living. From a theological perspective we need to integrate our revelation-based understandings with our experientially and historically-based understandings. I have never seen a couple who started a marriage expecting to divorce, but I have seen many persons of faith who felt they must take a path of divorce. Every faith tradition I know has teachings on failure and hope, and every person needs to appreciate the resources of faith amidst an individual pilgrimage. Reality rules and we seldom know enough, do enough, or believe enough to understand it all. Here I say, I am a religious being. And I am humbled.

In the end, it probably will not be the ideologies that win the day anyway. When I work with students in our training programs in pastoral care and counseling, I have been interested in how learners steward their assumptions and organizations of understanding along side what they are engaging in particular human encounters. It is gratifying to see students grow, bend, and adapt in the learning process as they listen to fellow pilgrims and consider reality-based styles of caring that disclose God's continuing revelation and care for persons in whatever state they find themselves. Crisis events and problems in living are infused with the complexities of being embodied, social, and religious creatures. They call for holistic understandings and reality based networks of care. We are all God's children, and we are humbled by this difficult place where we struggle to grow and relate. God is with us: Thanks be to God.

RESPONDING TO THE TERRORISTS' ATTACKS AND THE AFTERMATH

We at the Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee feel the impact of the September 11th terrorists' attacks and join with you in prayers for comfort, guidance, and understanding. We all have been affected by this tragedy. What are the positive actions we can take?

The Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee has prepared the following information to help us in being sustained. We hope the ideas will assist us to care for one another and ourselves in this difficult time.

Call us if we can be of further assistance.
Telephone 615/383,2115

With television we have not only witnessed, but have also heard numerous interpretations of the terrorists' attacks on our country. These traumatic events and our efforts to understand them commend us toward heightened anxiety and uncertainty. Such events threaten' our personal and communal well-being. The experience of threat is very appropriate, and it is normal for people to experience spiritual, emotional, and physical distress following a disaster of this nature.

COMMON RESPONSES TO TRAUMA
Sleep disturbance: It may be difficult for a time getting to sleep and staying asleep.

Intrusive thoughts: We may "replay" traumatic events in our minds, even when we do not want to do so and when there is nothing that should remind us of them.

Shock and disbelief.- Acceptance of trauma takes time. It is normal to feel stunned.

Concentration: We may have difficulty remembering or attending to tasks at hand.

Emotional numbing: To protect ourselves from undesirable realities, we sometimes become numb and unresponsive to everyday pleasures and activities.

Travel anxiety: Our association with airplanes or being away from home may carry new concerns for some of us.

Safety concerns: Our sense of vulnerability has been exposed and we may have heightened concerns about our and our loved ones' security.

HELPFUL COPING STRATEGIES
Connect: We are human beings and it is normal for us to want to stay connected with "the normal world" we know. The world we knew has changed, but our need to connect has not. Reach out to significant others for assurance and support. We need to love and be loved. Connect with those you love and know what is important.

Communicate: No human experience compares to our capacity to communicate. Find persons with whom you can communicate deeply and talk with them about your reactions. Those of us who do not talk about our feelings may need to try harder. When we talk with appropriate persons, we organize our experience and may better understand ourselves. Prayer is an experience of communicating deeply.

Act: Find activities that are positive for your spirit, your mind, and your body. Consider doing things that contribute to others. Be intentional with your time and do things that contribute to your life.

Feel: Listen to your feelings and talk about them in appropriate relationships. Being mad, scared, sad, glad, and hurt are normal feelings. Note how you steward these feelings by how you let others know what you feel. Maintain a sense of humor.

CARING FOR CHILDREN
Understand: Acknowledge your children's fears and anxieties. Try not to minimize their fears with false assurances. Accept their feelings. Assure them of your presence and love.

Information: There is a surplus of "dark data" entering our young people's worlds, but they need to know they are not alone and we are with them. For young children, limit exposure to television; for adolescents, explore their interpretation of events and struggle with them to understand.

Accent Normality: Sustain normal patterns of life. Maintain routine eating, sleeping, recreation, and worship patterns; our rituals help structure and stabilize life. When needed, provide safe lights and offer other assurances of comfort.

Parents' Travel: Young people may need reassurance with parents' travel and some anxiety may be anticipated. Talk with them.

DEVELOPMENT DOINGS
The Development Office has been extremely busy recently. Of course, I don't know too many Development Offices that don't stay busy. It's the nature of the beast. You may have received a call from a member of our Board of Directors or the Staff of Pastoral Counseling Centers to say thank you and request your continued support! As usual, you responded graciously and generously. You will be receiving calls such as these from time to time. We want to make sure we are providing you every opportunity to be a part of our team and to share in our mission.

We have many opportunities available for you to be a part of us. We love our volunteers and hope you will call 383-2115 x 23 and let us know when you, or a group you are a part of, has available time to help in each of the centers or in the Development Office. We have a great need for more space in our Rivergate Center. Perhaps we will need to relocate as we are growing at a fast pace. We need fax machines, copy machines, toys and toy boxes for children's area, board games for teenagers, puzzles, tv/vcr combo for childcare area, coffee makers, and phone systems. We need copy paper, office supplies and many other things to help us service the needs of those who come to us.

We are so grateful for our generous donors and volunteers. Because of people like you we have been able to provide more counseling hours to adults, teens, families and children who would not otherwise have been able to afford the care they needed. I would like to say thank you. We welcome your visits and your comments. Your prayers bless us.

WE GRATEFULLY ACKNOWLEDGE GIFTS FROM THE FOLLOWING INDIVIDUALS AND ORGANIZATIONS:
Benefactors Fellowship
THE MEMORIAL FOUNDATION

Patrons Fellowship
THE JOE C. DAVIS FOUNDATION

Advocates Fellowship
ALICE W. TYNE
W. ALEXANDER STEELE
MARY P. WHITSON
FRANK & AUDREY JONES

Sustainers Fellowship
DARRYL & ANNE EDMONDS
BILL & NANCY WILLIAMSON

Corporations
STATE FARM INSURANCE - BOBBY ALLEN, AGENT
BOWNE OF NASHVILLE - JOHN HYLAND

COLUMBIA COUNSELING CENTER OPEN HOUSE
July 22, 2001, the Columbia Counseling Center celebrated it's one year anniversary with an Open House. The center, located at Trinity Lutheran Church, 5001 Trotwood Avenue, received many guests. Some were familiar with the Pastoral Counseling Center of Columbia; some came for more information and to meet the counselors, Dr. Jeff Hamilton and Dr. Jennifer Crane. We are grateful for the wonderful support from the community of Columbia and Maury County.

NEW CPE PROGRAM
We are pleased to announce the development of a new area-wide Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program. One of the oldest CPE programs in the southeast region, the Tennessee Valley VA. Medical Center program, has served hundreds of students since the early 1970's and continues to provide outstanding experiences for pastoral training in its Nashville and Murfreesboro hospitals. Beginning in the summer or fall of 2002, a new program will be available.

Four outstanding area healthcare institutions are collaborating to provide this new CPE experience. Baptist Hospital, McKendree Village Retirement Community, Saint Thomas Hospital, and Vanderbilt University Medical Center have joined forces with the Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee to form a formidable partnership to offer the new CPE program. Pastoral Care leadership, administrative representatives, and fundraising officers committed to the program's formation September 4, following a daylong working retreat at the Center for Nonprofit Management. Discussions about starting a new program began last year when Dean James Hudnut-Beumler invited area clinical institutions to the Vanderbilt Divinity School to discuss potential sites for conducting Clinical Pastoral Education. Representatives from Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee (PCCT) and the Tennessee Valley V.A. Medical Centers have been involved in these conversations as pastoral training consultants.

The new collaborative CPE program will be conducted under the training mission of the Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee. During the first year of service, the CPE Program - will operate under the accreditation of the Tennessee Valley VA Medical Centers. We will begin a search for a CPE supervisor/manager this fall, develop office space for the program this winter, and set the curriculum in the spring. The program will provide stipends for six yearlong residents and opportunities for training with up to twelve part-time interns. Residency training will begin in August 2002 and Interns training will either begin in May or the Fall, 2002. Recommendations for the CPE supervisor position and communications about doing Clinical Pastoral Education in the Partner clinical settings can be- directed to the CPE Center, Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee, 100 Vine Court, Nashville, Tennessee 37205; Phone 615/383-2115 x24.

NEW RIVERGATE COORDINATOR
Dr. Gilbert Roth assumed his management responsibilities of this Center in mid-September. Dr. Roth, a Diplomate in AAPC and an Approved Supervisor in AAMFT, is also a Licensed Professional Counselor and a certified Clinical Pastoral Therapist. He joined our staff in February after serving in Alaska, Washington and Oklahoma. Dr. Roth succeeds Meredith Neil, Th.M., who has served as Coordinator of the Rivergate Center since January 2000.

Archived Issues:
Summer 2004
Winter 2003: Nuturing the Institution
Fall 2002
Winter 2002: Ethics In The Workplace
Fall 2001: Room for Laughter
Spring 2001: Suicide - A Loss of Hope
Winter 2001: Helping a Child Through Loss
Fall 2000: Adolescence and Substance Abuse
Summer 2000: Hospitality, A Context for Care and Healing
Spring 2000: The Cry of Anguish