Fall 2000

The INNERLIFE
A Publication of the
Pastoral Counseling Centers of Tennessee, Inc.

Partners in Caring Since 1985

Adolescence and Substance Abuse
By Chris O'Rear, M.Div

The abuse of alcohol or other drugs is sometimes a way of dealing with the stress or awkwardness of adolescence and emerging insecurities.

I have spent the past nine years trying to teach my daughters the things that I believe are important in life. I want them to understand my beliefs and feelings about a variety of life issues and events. I know, however, that there will come a day when they will need to test the beliefs and ideas that I have tried to give them. Breaking from the safety of the parent's home, parent's beliefs, and parent's values and trying on alternative ways of being is the primary task of adolescence. The tricky task of the parent is determining the balance between control and freedom and providing an adequate safety net of appropriate positive and negative consequences.

One of the most frightening aspects of this time for the parents can be the awareness that for many youth, the use of alcohol or other chemical substances is a part of this seeking process. In fact, 80% of high school seniors have tried alcohol, 65% have tried cigarettes, and 50% marijuana. The actual reasons for trying a chemical substance are as varied as the teens themselves, but there are some common themes that emerge. As stated before, the use of alcohol or other drugs can be a way of expressing independence from the parents' values, but it can also be an attempt to identify with a parent who uses a substance. Chemical use in teens is often a way to identify with other teens and can become a building block for community for some youth. The abuse of alcohol or other drugs is sometimes a way of dealing with the stress or awkwardness of adolescence and emerging insecurities.

One complication is that teens that begin drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely to develop alcoholism than those who begin at age 21. Youth who develop substance abuse problems eventually find that their use is not a way to express themselves or to escape difficulty, but the continued abuse actually blocks normal development and prevents the growth of healthy coping skills. In a recent interview, Scot Weiland, lead singer for the Stone Temple Pilots, said, "[drugs] are anesthetics; not only do they numb you physically, but they sort of numb you emotionally and spiritually, too." Gerald May, in Addiction & Grace, says that addictions are our own worst enemy because they enslave us and make idolators of us. Addiction gives the illusion of freedom, but blocks our ability to truly and freely love God and others.

The question for parents then is, "What should I do?" There are no truly simple answers, but some truths that come from experience can be helpful. First of all, the answer is not to strictly control your children. This has the potential to be counter-productive. Betty Butler, a nurse at New Life Lodge Treatment Center reports that a large number of adults in their program come from families that were strict, inflexible, "overly religious", or run in a military fashion. There is an equal risk for those who come from families with a parent who has a chemical abuse problem. The "hands-off " attitude is not helpful either. Teens need to test the limits and explore new ways of thinking, but they need to do so in an environment that has boundaries and limits. Along with these boundaries, there need to be consequences, both positive and negative, to maintain them. This communicates care on the part of the parent. Parents need to talk with (not at) their teens about the dangers of drug use. These conversations reduce the risk of use by 42% and yet only 1of 4 youth report having these conversations. Above all, parents need to learn to offer grace to their children. It is imperative that children learn that it is okay to make mistakes. They need to be assured that a parent's love is not conditional on a certain type of behavior. In this way we help our children understand God's love for all of us.

All statistics taken from Youth, Alcohol and Other Drugs, An Overview. National Council on Alcoholism And Drug Dependence, Inc. www.ncadd.org.

Scot Weiland quote from Weiland's Tips For Clean Living, Yahoo! News. August 4, 2000.

Addiction & Grace: Love And Spirituality In the Healing of Addictions, Gerald G. May, M.D.,

On Stewardship
by James R. Coffman

On August 1, 2000 we completed 15 years of service in our organization. I have been thinking about our stewardship. We have been blessed with wonderful staff members, outstanding Board, Advisory, and Committee members, and generous congregation support in this time. We are grateful.

We are stewards of excellent staff members. Since inception, we have attracted and trained gifted clinicians. Our staff members, both professional and business employees, have demonstrated not only superior skills, but also dedication to our mission. We give thanks for our staff members, who embody our vision. They constantly seek to improve their training and service. It is a challenge attracting persons with the skills we enjoy, and, at times, it is even harder holding them. We know that our religious communities deserve the best, and we do everything we can to provide the most competent staff members.

Our Board of Directors, our Center Advisory Councils, and our Committees support our mission with fundraising, consultation, and guidance. Someone said there are 3 w's a nonprofit must have: wealth, work, and wisdom. We have improved our fundraising efforts, thanks to the solid base of congregations who share in our mission and to volunteers who ask friends to contribute. We are a working board, working councils and working committees, and this ministry touches hundreds every week because of our champions. One-third of our budget comes from our supporting partners, and these partners extend their care to numerous people they will never see personally. When you attend one of our meetings, you will see that we have the wisest of community leaders on our teams. This year we have developed strategic plans in our Centers, and some of the most exciting ideas and visions I have ever witnessed have appeared in these conversations. We give thanks.

Some relationships are irreplaceable. Our Host Congregations go the distance to make our services possible. Nashville's Vine Street Christian Church, Clarksville's First Christian Church, Brentwood United Methodist Church, Franklin's St. Paul Episcopal Church, the Duck River Association of Missionary Baptists, Murfreesboro's First Baptist Church, Columbia's Trinity Lutheran Church, and Dr. Mary Kay Koen (Rivergate) provide us generous space, utilities, and cleaning services. I cannot adequately describe how important these contributions are to our mission. Several include telephone services, office equipment, and generous financial investments. To provide an environment like ours is not easy-professional, confidential, and hospitable space can be costly. In 15 years, we have not paid for space. These generous contributions greatly reduce our overhead. I salute our Host Congregations. Your generous stewardship inspires us to great service.

Aligned with our Host Congregations are our partnering congregations. Perhaps, the most inspiring feature of our work is our colleagueship in ministry with area congregations. Over 90 congregations actively support eight Centers through their mission giving and referrals. They come from twelve denominations and have total memberships of almost 100,000 people. Our supporting congregations not only speak of collaboration, they practice it. We partner with these congregations in outreach. We respect congregations' theological perspectives and those of their members. While we do not take the place of congregation clergy, we can appreciate the teachings of our faith communities, affirm them, and encourage counselees to consider these important benchmarks in the midst of life's personal changes. We provide sacred spaces for individuals, couples, and families to work out their salvation and their mental health.

The Greek word for stewardship is oikonomia, and etymologically it is associated with managing a household. The word "economy" comes from the same origins. I confess I am perplexed about stewarding relationships like those above. There are competing needs and expectations all around us. I marvel that we function as smoothly as we do. Obviously, it speaks well for the constituents in these groups.

When I consider our stewardship in the light of holy scriptures, I get a bit anxious. In these writings the privileged ones appear to have the greater challenges, and I am mindful that we are privileged. With gifted staff, wonderful leaders, and exciting partner congregations we have been given much. How shall we respond? We will work every day to understand our resources and use them wisely. We will work every day to meet that person or family that comes through our door with the best service that person can get. We will work every day to be not only competent, but also faithful partners in a covenant of care that stretches from the most general act of care in your congregation to the most prescriptive one. We will work every day to care for God's people. Thank you for being our partner in care.

Memorial and Honor Roll:
We gratefully acknowledge gifts from the following individuals and organizations:
Mr. and Mrs. Rodes Hart
Mr. Joseph B. Ledbetter
The M. Stratton Foster Charitable Foundation
Mr. and Mrs. Wirt McKnight
The Memorial Foundation
Mr. and Mrs. Earl Swensson
Mr. and Mrs. Don White
Mr. and Mrs. Don E. Williams
Mr. Louis Nicholas for a contribution in honor of Mr. and Mrs. Clyde Brake
Mr. and Mrs. Barry Goodman for a contribution in memory of Mr. Greg Cullum
Mr. and Mrs. Lou Bottiggi, Jr. for a contribution in memory of Mr. Scott Mercy.

The Tithes that Bind
Voices of those who have benefited from the mission and ministry of the Pastoral Counseling Centers create a richly storied-fabric tied together by threads of need, hope, compassion, generosity, courage and faith. Your gifts of time, talent and treasure make the richness of this ministry possible. Please remember us in your end of the year giving.

“More than anything, [the Pastoral Counseling Centers have been] a catalyst for me to serve other people and the wider community with whatever contribution I can make. I have not had a personal need of a counselor but I know [the care] is available if I need [it]. I tell people that ‘[the counselors] are interested in you and your ability to live in God’s world and relate to one another’.” M.B. - A Financial Contributor

“I felt that I was in a raging storm in the middle of the ocean. When I would come in for counseling those waves were out of control. I would come into the Center and the waters would begin to calm and settle. And by the time the counseling session was over I felt a peace and a comfort that it really was [going to be] ok.” J.C. – A Counselee

“I really didn’t know what was happening and I couldn’t explain it to anybody. I learned I was suffering from clinical depression. I felt a lot of relief in gaining some understanding and clarity. For me the most important thing was to understand that there could still be a God at the same time as suffering. [My counselor] was able to show me that was possible.” M.D. – A Counselee

“Thank you for providing a place and a well-trained, caring counselor at a fee that I could afford. You have given me the opportunity of a lifetime, to change, to grow, to work through my problems in a sheltered, safe environment.” J.G. – A Counselee

“People come seeking change and part of the assurance of change is in the building of the counseling relationship. What I do is provide a sanctuary for someone to reintroduce themselves to their beliefs and to themselves. And to redefine themselves in a structure that is consistent, caring, loving and faithful. All the doctrine that you hear in the faith community is present in the counseling relationship.” J.C. – A Counselor

Notes

Franklin Center Renovations and New Coordinator
St. Paul's Episcopal Church, our host congregation for the Pastoral Counseling Center of Franklin, has just completed renovations of the building where the Center is located. The St. Barnabas Center is home to a number of programs that the congregation supports. The Franklin Center has seen its reception area expanded, an additional office added, new carpet, paint, doors, and many other improvements. The Advisory Council for the Center will provide more furnishings in order to complete the setting of the offices and reception area. No official date has been set for the dedication, but plans are in progress. Lawrence D. Clark, D.Min., AAPC Diplomate, and licensed Marriage and Family Therapist joined the Franklin Center as its Interim Coordinator on August 8. Lawrence is also our new Business Resource Center Director.

Business Resource Center
There are many dimensions to fulfilling the mission of PCCT. For several years, the Business Resource Center has been providing an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to Nashville area businesses. The Business Resource Center's EAP program gives local businesses an opportunity to provide a mental health benefit to their employees. These types of program offerings communicate to employees their importance as a resource to the company. The EAP is available for both the employee and their family.

Our EAP program offers mental health services that help keep a company's insurance premiums low while at the same time offering prompt and specialized care to employees in need. In 1988, a McDonnell Douglas survey showed that providing health services lowers mental health costs. Other significant results of offering EAP programs include an increase in productivity and employee retention. There is also an educational piece of the EAP program that may add to a savings in Workman's Compensation. If you are interested in knowing how your organization can benefit from an Employee Assistance Program, contact Lawrence at (615) 377-9303 or email BRC@PastoralCounselingCtrs.com

Individual Center Statistics
Over the last year PCCT has done 9656 hours of counseling. These counseling hours break down by Center in the following way: Vine Street 3,194, (32%) Clarksville 757 (8%), Brentwood 2,394 (25%), Franklin 467 (5%), Duck River 1,063 (11%), Murfreesboro 1,134 (12%), Rivergate 645 (7%) and Columbia 17. We thank the staff, the Advisory Councils and the supporting congregations in each community for making this growth possible.

Upcoming Congregational Care Programming
The Rivergate Pastoral Counseling Center will be offering a forum on Finding Solutions in a Problem-Infested Environment. The program will introduce Solution Focused Brief Therapy for use in the pastorate. The workshop will be offered Tuesday, November 28 from 10 am to 1 pm at Hendersonville United Methodist Church.

The Pastoral Counseling Center of Franklin, will be offering a forum on "Why We Grieve the Way We Do". Guided by the work on Alan D. Wolfet, Dr. Lawrence Clark will make a presentation and facilitate a discussion on the impact of grief and loss on a person's life. The workshop will be offered on Tuesday October 17 from 10 a.m. to 12 noon at the Pastoral Counseling Center of Franklin. Please call Claire at St. Paul's Episcopal Church at 790-0527 to register your attendance.

The Pastoral Counseling Center of Clarksville will begin a Congregational Care series this fall entitled From Being a Survivor to a Thriver. The first of three programs, From Bondage to Freedom will be offered on Sunday, October 22 from 2 p.m to 4 p.m. at First Christian Church on Madison Street. The Clarksville Center will continue this series in January and February with two additional programs. Please call the Pastoral Counseling Center of Clarksville for additional information at 931/648-9009.

Dates to Remember
PCCT's Board and Staff Retreat is scheduled for Saturday, September 30th. The 2000 Founder's Banquet is scheduled for Friday, October 13th. PCCT will be honoring Bill and Evelyn Tallent from Vine Street Christian Church and the Reverend George Gracey from First Presbyterian Church in Clarksville. Pastoral Care and Counseling Week is October 22nd - 29th. This year's theme is "Valuing Each Person Wholly". If you would like more information about any of these events please contact the Development Office at 615/383-2115.

Staff Notes
PCCT bids farewell to Dr. Jim Pruett, Training Program Director and Reverend Jean Pruett, Duck River Center Coordinator. Jim and Jean are moving to North Carolina where Jim will become Executive Director of the Methodist Counseling and Consultation Center in Charlotte. Jane will begin working at Carolina's Medical Center as a Community Care Chaplain. We wish them lots of luck and know that they are happy to be moving closer to their children and grandchildren.

Archived Issues:
Summer 2004
Winter 2003: Nuturing the Institution
Fall 2002
Winter 2002: Ethics In The Workplace
Fall 2001: Room for Laughter
Spring 2001: Suicide - A Loss of Hope
Winter 2001: Helping a Child Through Loss
Fall 2000: Adolescence and Substance Abuse
Summer 2000: Hospitality, A Context for Care and Healing
Spring 2000: The Cry of Anguish