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Children/Family Crisis

From birth a child has specific needs: to be physically comfortable, to be spiritually directed, to experience continuity in important relationships, and to develop a positive sense of Self. When these needs are not met, children become discouraged. Discouraged children become troubled children and may need the services of a professional counselor to help them sort through their feelings so they can enjoy being a child and develop a mature faith. Here are a few ways to recognize a troubled child.

• When the child is "acting out" with behavior problems (fighting, stealing, cheating, running away from home)
  
• When the child is experiencing sleeping problems
  
• When the child is eating too much or too little
  
• When the child is having school problems-academically or socially
  
• When the child is socially isolated from his age group or others outside the immediate family
  
• When the child is lacking good role models in the adults in his/her life
  
• When the child is experiencing problems at home (separation, divorce, severe conflict)
  
• When the child is crying more than others in his/her age group
  
• When the child is too concerned with death themes or imagining terrible things happening to him or those around him
  
• When the child is consistently irritable, whining, defensive, displaying temper outbursts and generally showing hostility and anger
  
• When the child is frequently complaining of stomachaches, headaches, or bodily aches and pains

Theologically, children are precious gifts of God, no matter what their origins or circumstances. They are subject to the limitations of being a part of the creation, and, therefore, will embody human difficulties and frailties. Adults hold a special stewardship in the nurture of children, and a sensitive adult can recognize there is a need for attention, learning and change in a child's life. Parents and other adults lay the groundwork for children's capacities to trust God by providing stable and trustworthy relationships with children, and, more often than not, these same parents and adults will need to be involved in the challenges of building healthy and whole relationships with children. For that reason, we often include the significant adults in children's lives in their care plans. Families form complex systems of relationships and particular beliefs or behaviors can create complex responses in other members of the family, including the adults. Families have experienced significant changes in the last twenty years, but the maxim that "we are in this together" has no greater meaning than in the family. Holy scriptures describe God working with some challenging family stories. The first twelve chapters of Hebrew scripture include some very dysfunctional family events. One does not look for perfection in the family, but growing in faithfulness is a good thing.

When there are concerns or questions about a child's behaviors and well being or about the parenting roles, call one of the pastoral counseling centers and make an initial appointment to assess the problem and determine a suitable treatment response. Assessment can be done in 2 to 6 sessions, and treatment can be focused over a period of weeks or months.

For more information on children and families, try these web sites:
www.mentalhealth.org/links/KENLINKS.htm
www.familyeducation.com/home
www.al-anon.alateen.org
www.parentsoup.com.

To contact the nearest Pastoral Counseling Center in your area click here.