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Addictions
When someone mentions addictions what usually comes to mind is physical dependence on a chemical substance like marijuana or alcohol. The truth is that physical dependence is only part of the picture. Addiction has more to do with a behavior than a substance. So the truth is that it is not what you use, but how you use it that indicates addiction. This being the case, it is possible to say that someone is addicted to almost anything - food, gambling, sex, work, religion, Internet, or exercise.
There are two factors that can help determine whether a person is addicted to some activity or substance. The first is how they use it and the second is how it affects them. If a person engages in an activity in a compulsive way, that is, a way in which the person feels they do not have the option or ability to control their actions, it could indicate a problem. Some signs that this may be the case are as follows: Doing something more than you initially intended or losing track of time while participating (like sitting down to check your email and spending five hours surfing the internet), participating in an activity instead of taking care of daily responsibilities (missing work repeatedly or neglecting household duties in order to go gambling), minimizing, justifying, denying, or lying about how much time is being spent in a particular activity.
The other part of this is how a particular activity affects a person. Does engaging in an activity change a person's mood? Are they different when they are involved in an activity than they are at other times in their life? This is seen sometimes when one spouse will describe the other as a really nice person except when they are... The next question is, does the person take risks or behave dangerously when participating in an activity. A good example of this is a person who may have unprotected sex with a variety of partners several times a week. Many times a person engages in some activity in order to avoid uncomfortable or distressful feelings. In these cases a person may avoid a particular feeling or soothe some discomfort by participating in an activity (though this may not be consciously known by the person at first). This is true at times of people who are compulsively active in their religion. They feel anxious or guilty when they do not participate in church or when they participate in "worldly" things, Church helps soothe that feeling. So their religion becomes driven by guilt or fear rather than love and grace.
There are a variety of underlying factors that contribute to each addictive behavior and while there may be common themes, each person's story is unique. That is why most treatments, including, 12-step programs, have universal truths, but require an individual journey to overcoming the behaviors. Most people seek help for an addictive behavior when they have experienced a consequence that causes them more pain than the underlying feeling that drives the addiction. This can come in the form of something as simple as another person expressing their concern or in something as drastic as the loss of a family or a job. Many times people have tried things on their own to stop doing whatever they have been doing and have failed, leading them to feel that their situation is hopeless. At times families and friends have been through the ups and downs with the person and may feel anger, frustration, and depression as they have lived with the consequences as well. This leads family members to be the first, sometimes, to seek help for themselves whether the addicted person ever does or not.
Addiction is complicated. It is not as simple as some would say when they admonish an addict to just stop what they are doing. Addicted people do not choose to feel the way they do and they do not benefit from lectures or being labeled "sinners". These addicted people often feel out of control and, at times, feel they are trying to feed some insatiable monster on the inside. This bottomless pit has been referred to in some literature as a God-sized hole. Therefore the only salvation comes through understanding God's grace and love. The addiction is often driven by guilt and shame. Adding to that guilt and shame only serves to deepen the hold of the addictive behavior. This is difficult for the families and friends of the addicted person. Families are stressed and often live with a craziness that is not known to those outside the home. They are often confused about how to respond to their addicted loved one because the things they have tried in the past do not work. But addiction is not hopeless. Many people have gone on to find a way to peace and serenity.
Theologically, addictions may be abortive attempts to satisfy spiritual hungers, and represent efforts to address deeper religious issues through nonreligious means. The "object of affection" is a mere object, and has too much importance in one's life. Wherever one makes something absolute that cannot contain the absolute, one is destined to be dehumanized and betrayed by the idol. Augustine's statement that "Our hearts are restless until they rest in God" has meaning for addicted persons, and twelve step programs begin with the first step acknowledgment that "I am powerless" over the object of my affection, with the subsequent step asserting belief in "a Power greater than ourselves" which can "restore us to sanity." Full recovery often involves a spiritual pilgrimage to discover God and understand one's relationship with God.
Call one of the pastoral counseling centers and make an initial appointment to assess the problem and determine a suitable treatment response. Assessment can be done in 2 to 6 sessions, and treatment can be focused over a period months.
For
more information on addiction, try these web sites:
www.aanashville.org
www.al-anon.alateen.org
www.mentalhealth.org
www.sexhelp.com
To contact the nearest Pastoral Counseling Center in your area click here.